Monday, December 1, 2008

Plaxico Burress is a Jive Turkey

i went there

Plaxico Burress shot himself in the leg. You can take the gang star out of the ghetto, but you can't take the ghetto out of the gang star.

I'm thinking it went down like the poker scene from Semi-Pro.
(Warning - Profanity)

Watch more SpikedHumor videos on AOL Video

Monday, November 24, 2008

Obama Expected to Lift Restrictions on Embryonic Stem Cell Research

From Fox News:

"As president, I will lift the current administration's ban on federal funding of research on embryonic stem cell lines created after August 9, 2001, through executive order, and I will ensure that all research on stem cells is conducted ethically and with rigorous oversight," he said.
To me, this is a plain example of the dishonesty of the Left, and by extension the Mainstream Media. They would have you believe that Bush imposed the regulations purely based on an ethical question (albeit that is part of it).

In fact, there is no regulation against the research of embryonic stem cells. The regulation is against Federal funding of that research.
Under President George W. Bush, federal money for research on human embryonic stems cells was limited to those stem cell lines, or families of constantly dividing cells, that were created before Aug. 9, 2001. No federal dollars could be used on research with cell lines from embryos destroyed from that point forward. Federal regulations do not restrict embryonic stem cell research using state or private funds.
The next time you hear a report or argument that research was restricted purely based on ethical standards, you'll know the person saying it is either stupid or flat out lying.

If there was a viable way to turn this into the miracle cure the Left is so fond of claiming it is, then why hasn't a private company sunk some money into it? Why is Government so willing to throw our tax dollars at things which fail in the private sector?

Saturday, November 22, 2008

Past Controversies Hang Over Obama Cabinet Picks

present and future controversies to follow

Senators will have to decide in the confirmation hearings whether to broach Richardson's involvement, though marginal, in the Monica Lewinsky scandal, as well as Napolitano's work in the Anita Hill sexual harassment case and Holder's support of President Clinton's controversial pardon of Marc Rich.

For someone who based his entire campaign on change, he sure is planning to fill his Cabinet with many of the same old players. Unless they start talking about it on American Idol, most of the people who put him in office will not hear about it. And those who do hear about it won't care.

Friday, November 21, 2008

Sarah Palin Pardons a Turkey

it doesn't get much funnier than this

Sarah Palin did that silly thing that every Governor does around Thanksgiving and pardoned a turkey. Afterward, she gave an interview while another turkey gets stuffed into a grinder in the background. Priceless!



Her attitude is perfect. I'm looking forward to the rebuilding of the Republican Party with her leading the way.

Anyway, I wanted to make a flash movie with her giving the interview with some cartoon violence going on in the background. Unfortunately, I couldn't find any suitable cartoon clips for it and I'm not sure I would have been able to pull it off anyway. So I settled for this:

Thursday, November 20, 2008

Grenade camera to aid UK troops

it would sure aid our troops if we gave our reporters splodey cameras

Saw this on IMAO


A "grenade" camera, that would enable soldiers to look into hazardous areas, is being developed for UK troops.

Dubbed the I-Ball the wireless device is robust enough to survive being thrown onto a battlefield.

The I-Ball's internal camera gives a 360 degree view, with images being sent from the instant it is launched.

It is thought the new technology would enable soldiers to see into potential danger spots without putting themselves at risk of ambush.
The West will always have the upper hand because of innovations such as this.

For instance, look at the Israel / Palestine conflict. Back in 2003, the Israelis were developing this:


The CornerShot: Makes Tight Corners an Advantage

Meanwhile, the other side of that conflict is still using these:

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Man Faces Battery Charges for Hitting Girlfriend With Sandwich

hold the mayo

What is the first question that pops into your head when you read the title of this article? If you are like me, you are asking, "what kind of sandwich was it?".


Police haven't said what type of sandwich was involved.
Naturally, the media fails to inform once again. You know what? Next time keep the story to yourself. How hard can it be to call the woman, or look inside the car to see if there are any sandwich bits left? Thanks for nothing.

Al Qaeda No. 2 in Video Insults Obama With Racial Epithet

oh no he didn't

Dang! He went there.

In Al Qaeda's first response to Obama's victory, al-Zawahiri also called the president-elect — along with secretaries of state Colin Powell and Condoleezza Rice — "house Negroes."

Speaking in Arabic, al-Zawahiri uses the term "abeed al-beit," which literally translates as "house slaves." But Al Qaeda supplied English subtitles of his speech that included the translation as "house Negroes."
Obama should sit down with this guy and try to change his thinking.

Monday, November 17, 2008

Obamas Will Not Get Puppy Before White House Move

one promise, one fail

President-elect Barack Obama said on Election Night that he had promised his young daughters that they could get a dog once the race was over.


He can't even keep promises to his kids, where does that leave the American People? I'm not serious, of course ... but that is the type of thing that Bush would have been called out on.

I read last week that a canine club in Peru offered the Obama's a Peruvian hairless dog. His older daughter suffers from allergies, so a hairless dog would solve that problem.

I don't feel comfortable with that. It would be too similar to a certain evil doctor with a penchant for hairless pets.


No Obama, we don't gnaw on kittehs ear!

Friday, November 14, 2008

Mitch Mitchell, Jimi Hendrix Experience Drummer, Dies

rip

Alone and in a hotel room. Rock 'n Roll. I'm a big fan of Hendrix. Especially the bluesy and jazzy stuff. If you like pure instrumental jam sessions, do yourself a favor and find the album "Nine to the Universe". Five songs, one album, few words. Hendrix at his best, in my opinion.

Here is a sample:



I don't believe Mitch Mitchel played on any of those tracks. For him, it is pretty much agreed that his feature song is Manic Depression. Here it is:

Thursday, November 13, 2008

Artists stage street scenes to lurk in Google maps

I don't get it

I found this article today. It peaked my interest. Mainly because it occurred in my hometown of Pittsburgh, PA.

PITTSBURGH — Anyone using Google's Street View map feature to scan one downtown Pittsburgh street is bound to do a double-take.

Two 17th century swordsmen doing battle? An escape from a building using knotted sheets? A laser zapping a Steelers fan and a Cleveland Browns fan, rendering them love-struck and about to embrace?

[snip ...]

Google really did capture those scenes when it sent a car equipped with cameras down Pittsburgh's Sampsonia Way in May to take photographs for its online maps. But these images and most of the other scenes caught on Sampsonia were staged by artists Ben Kinsley and Robin Hewlett. The two set out to explore the boundaries of the real and virtual worlds after Pittsburgh became included in Street View.
So I went to Google Maps and typed "Sampsonia Way Pittsburgh, PA" in the address field. Here is a screenshot.



I don't get it. Maybe I'm just a stupid redneck from Western PA and don't have any art sense, but it just looks like a random street in Anytown, USA to me.

I mean you have a school, some trees, Wilford Brimely strangling a guy, a fence, some buildings ... Nothing special, and certainly not anything I would call "art". I feel cheated.

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Michael Crichton, Yul Brynner, and Westworld

who loves ya, baby?

Rachel Lucas posted an article about new robot technology that mimics human facial expressions. The picture provided made me instantly think of Yul Brynner in Westworld.



One of her commentors mentioned Kevin Spacey. Touche`. I'm going to stick with Yul Brynner though because, along with the appearance, the technology made me think of Westworld. Besides, it's a generation thing. Back in the day you couldn't look at a bald guy without instantly thinking of either Yul Brynner or Telly Savalas.

Plot summary from Imdb:

A amusement park for rich vacationers. The park provides its customers a way to live out their fantasies through the use of robots that provide anything they want. Two of the vacationers choose a wild west adventure. However, after a computer breakdown, they find that they are now being stalked by a rogue robot gun-slinger.
This was one of my favorite movies growing up. I was always particularly fond of movies and books having to do with the "Wild West", and then to add rogue robots into the mix? You damn skippy.

An interesting side note, this movie was written and directed by Michael Crichton. I didn't know that until I looked it up today. The man obviously didn't look at amusement parks the same way as most people. They seemed to have a habit of turning bad in his stories. Unfortunately, he passed away earlier this month. He left behind an impressive body of work.

Here is a scene from Westworld. Keep in mind that only James Brolin's (I know, get over it), and Richard Benjaman's characters are human. The rest are robots.



Also, here is an extended trailer. This is probably the better video, but it is set not to allow embeds.

If you enjoy Westerns and Science Fiction then I recommend this movie. The effects obviously don't hold up, the movie was made in 1973, but the story is solid.

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Sing Along With Hugo: Chavez Cuts an Album

oldies but goodies

I found this on Fox News today.

The Venezuelan president is lending his voice to a couple of revolutionary tunes -- literally -- on a new collection of songs and poems released by his United Socialist Party of Venezuela (PSUV). It's what every youngster in Caracas will want on his iPod.
Exclusive to Right U R, here is a commercial that will be hitting Venezuelan airwaves soon. He sings like a bird. Who knew?



Here is the original clip of Eddie Murphy doing Buckwheat's Greatest Hits for SNL on YouTube. Enjoy.

Monday, November 10, 2008

Election Over, Ayers, Wright & Farrakhan Emerge

wright on cue



The Election Party is barely over and, right on cue, Obama's shady associations start crawling out of the woodwork. Is anyone surprised?

Farrakhan: "I feel freer today to say the things that are in my heart," said the controversial religious leader.
Do you mean the stuff you have been spewing for years hasn't come from your heart? Now we can look forward to hearing what he really thinks. Oh goodie.
Wright: "The media didn't care about the whole sermon and what it was about. They just used those 10 seconds and used it as a weapon of mass destruction against [Obama's] campaign."
How exactly do you take "God D*** America!" out of context?
Ayers: “It’s all guilt by association,” Ayers said. “They made me into a cartoon character -- they threw me up onstage just to pummel me."
I wish someone threw you up on stage and pummeled you. Heck, I would pay money to watch it. Somebody call Fox and tell them we have their next reality tv show for them. Actually, you should be getting pummeled right now by some guy named Bubba in Cell Block C.

Also, this:
Obama's former pastor says media exploited him.

Friday, November 7, 2008

Barney Bites Reporter

at least one republican isn't going down without a fight!



From Fox News:

It seems President Bush's dog Barney wasn't much in the mood for friendly attention during his walk outside the White House on Thursday. So when Reuters reporter Jon Decker reached down to pet the Scottish terrier, the seemingly docile dog snapped at him and bit Decker's right index finger.

Way to go, Barney! Where have you been for the last eight years? Naturally, you can see the video on YouTube.

Thursday, November 6, 2008

Obama campaign workers angry over unpaid wages

a day late and a dollar short



The cartoon was inspired by this article.

Lines were long and tempers flared Wednesday not to vote but to get paid for canvassing for Barack Obama. Several hundred people are still waiting to get their pay for last-minute campaigning.

...

"I worked nine hours a day for 4 days and got paid half of what I should have earned," said Randall Waldon.

Heh. Now why does that sound familiar? Maybe Randall Waldon will be voting Republican the next time around? Somehow I doubt that.

To be fair, the article has since been updated.
Indianapolis - The Obama campaign says most of the payment issues that brought hundreds of upset campaign workers to the Indianapolis office Wednesday have been resolved.

Provided that is true, it still does not take away from Randall's priceless quote. Explain to me again how it is OK to take someone's hard earned money? Don't be selfish.

Hat tip to Rachel Lucas, once again.

Monday, November 3, 2008

Joe the Plumber Plans Life After 2008 Election

i sure hope he doesn't have to spread his wealth

Joe will be releasing a book titled "Joe the Plumber -- Fighting for the American Dream". Take a look at this quote from the article:

The book, called "Joe the Plumber -- Fighting for the American Dream," is to be released by a group called PearlGate Publishing and other small publishing houses.

"I am not going to a conglomerate that way we actually can get the economy jump started. Like there is five publishing companies in Michigan. There's a couple down in Texas. They are small ones that can handle like 10 or 15,000 copies. I can go to a big one that could handle a million or two. But they don't need the help. They are already rich. So that's spreading the wealth to me," he said.

This guy 'gets it'. Here's to wishing you much success, Joe.

More:
S.E. Cupp met Joe today. I'm jealous! I want to meet Joe the Plumber! On second thought, you know what? I have met him. We all have. We meet him all of the time and don't even realize it. Sometimes he is the guy removing your tree stump, and sometimes he is the guy fixing your furnace. Who knows? You might be Joe the Plumber.

Meeting him in person crystallized for me what has made him the powerful symbol of working America that he's become in such short time. He is unequivocally genuine. He came at every issue we discussed from a personal place, and not a sweeping ideological one.

Marine vet at Russell rally: Murtha a fat little bastard

i don't respect his authori-tye

You just gotta love this:

During the rally, Shawn Bryan, a former sergeant in the U.S. Marine Corps., said Murtha visited his unit in Iraq in 2005. At the time, Murtha told the troops "what a great job we did," Bryan said, only to see him tell his district back home he no longer supported the effort.

Bryan said he didn't put his life on the line for his country "just so some fat little bastard can come back and run his mouth."


John Murtha has called Western Pennsylvanians racists. He has called us rednecks. He has called active Marines cold-blooded killers. Who does this guy represent? Not me.



Also,
David Drake: Murtha A Fat Little Bastard
The Jawa Report: Marine Vet At Russell Rally: Murtha a Fat Little Ba***rd
Wizbang: Marine Vet: Murtha a "Fat Little Bastard"

Saturday, November 1, 2008

McCain Sign Stealer Gets Shocked

and awed

Video from Fox News



Guess who the bad guy is? If you said the property owner you go to the head of the class.

How did the police get involved? When did we become a nation of cry babies where the police have to get involved with something as silly as this? The kid learned a lesson. Don't mess with other peoples property. Too bad he had to learn it from someone other than his father.

Thursday, October 30, 2008

Obama's Aunt Found Living in Rundown Boston Neighborhood

hoping for change

From Fox News:

Zeituni Onyango, the aunt so affectionately described in Obama's best-selling memoir "Dreams From My Father," lives in a disabled-access flat on a rundown public housing estate in South Boston...

[snip]

Speaking outside her home in Flaherty Way, South Boston, on Tuesday, Onyango, 56, confirmed she was the "Auntie Zeituni" in Obama's memoir. She declined to answer most other questions about her relationship with the presidential contender until after the November 4 election.

"I can't talk about it, I just pray for him, that's all," she said, adding: "After the 4th, I can talk to anyone."


What an odd thing to say. It's as if somebody told her not to say anything until after the 4th. She didn't say she doesn't want to talk about it, or she won't talk about it. She said she can't talk about it.

I don't know if Obama wants to keep this woman from talking to reporters or not. Maybe he even found it in his heart to give her a little bit of his money after all this time? I wouldn't put it past him.

Or, maybe she is just proud of her nephew and doesn't want to hinder his progress. I mean, let's keep it real here, I would be proud of him if he were in my family. Say what you want about him, but don't deny that he has "reached the big time".

Perhaps the American Media could stop following Joe the Plumber around and check up on it, that's all I'm saying. You did notice that it was the Times of London who broke this story, right?



Update: She's here illegally. Anyone surprised?

Peruvian Faith Healers Predict Election Results

and then form a pan flute band



The results were quickly invalidated when it was discovered no rum or chicken was offered up to Jobu.

Reference.
Don't ask about what else is going on in the video. I don't know, and I don't wanna know.

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