Artists stage street scenes to lurk in Google maps

I don't get it

I found this article today. It peaked my interest. Mainly because it occurred in my hometown of Pittsburgh, PA.

PITTSBURGH — Anyone using Google's Street View map feature to scan one downtown Pittsburgh street is bound to do a double-take.

Two 17th century swordsmen doing battle? An escape from a building using knotted sheets? A laser zapping a Steelers fan and a Cleveland Browns fan, rendering them love-struck and about to embrace?

[snip ...]

Google really did capture those scenes when it sent a car equipped with cameras down Pittsburgh's Sampsonia Way in May to take photographs for its online maps. But these images and most of the other scenes caught on Sampsonia were staged by artists Ben Kinsley and Robin Hewlett. The two set out to explore the boundaries of the real and virtual worlds after Pittsburgh became included in Street View.

So I went to Google Maps and typed "Sampsonia Way Pittsburgh, PA" in the address field. Here is a screenshot.



I don't get it. Maybe I'm just a stupid redneck from Western PA and don't have any art sense, but it just looks like a random street in Anytown, USA to me.

I mean you have a school, some trees, Wilford Brimely strangling a guy, a fence, some buildings ... Nothing special, and certainly not anything I would call "art". I feel cheated.

Classic Movie Scenes

celluloid don't lie



A real tear jerker. I said tear, dammit, stop snickering.

The inspiration for this came from the time that Wilford Brimley may or may not have had relations with a puma. Take a look at these 5 cats that look like Wilford Brimley and judge for yourself.

The background image comes from the classic Canteen Boy and the Scout Master SNL skit.

Is That Who I Think It Is?

nah, couldn't be


Old, Grizzled Third-Party Candidate May Steal Support From McCain

I grabbed this from All American Blogger. The fella running on the third party ticket looks awfully familiar. It couldn't be. The fella I'm thinking of is backing John McCain.

The lady they interviewed is right, he doesn't look like he would have any problem at all drowning a bag of cats.

There is a Bear in My Bed

and it has the diabeetus real bad, pa

Yes, the Brim always sleeps with one eye open.

You may be asking yourself why I would make a video of Wilford Brimley sleeping? The answer, of course, is because it's the right thing to do.

For the classic cartoon enthusiasts among you, the background image I used was snagged from The Bear That Couldn't Sleep(1939).

In case anyone is interested, I use KeepVid to save YouTube videos to my computer. Whenever I need to change audio formats, I use Media-Convert.

If you think the audio sounds crappy, you are correct. I'm not very happy about it either. I have a Dell XPS M1730 laptop. It is supposed to be a high end laptop, and it is except for one very stupid little thing. For some reason, Dell decided to disable Stereo Mix on the sound card. As a result, I'm having trouble converting flash swf files to avi (or any other video format, for that matter). My work around for now is to use Camtasia to record my desktop.

Maybe one day I will quit being so lazy and call Dell to see if I can get my problem solved.

Wilford Brimley Is Closing In On Me

better check my blood sugar, and quick

I was checking out my sitemeter stats today and noticed repeat visits from a single domain. The ISP lists Wausau Insurance Companies. I googled them and clicked on the similar pages button. Check out the first link.

Next, someone from this company hit the blog. They viewed six pages. Don't get me wrong, I appreciate the traffic, but I can't help but feel the Brim breathing down my neck.

If they ask, I will change the posts. I'm thinking Liberty Muzzle. All they have to do is ask and I will honor the request, 'cause it will be the right thing to do.

Update: Doh! Brimley spoke for Liberty Medical, not Liberty Mutual. My bad ... where were you guys on that one? Huh?

Brimley Endorses John McCain

and you can take that to the bank

Wilford Brimley here. I want to tell you that I endorse John McCain. I've known John for a few years now. We first met when I was vacationing in Hanoi back in '71. John is an honorable man. Also, I know for a fact that his blood sugar checks out because I have given him Snickers on many occasions.

I've been to the East many times, doing work for Liberty Medical. It is never easy for me to kill a man. However, I have no such feelings for savages and that part of the world is full of them. The people there are queer in the sense that there is not much sugar in their diets. Lots of rice and fish, but surely lacking in sugar.

I learned that the first time I traveled there. With no sugar to be found I quickly succumbed to a low sugar fugue. An entire village paid the price for it. I awoke to a puma licking about my face. It was rustling through my moustache like nobodies business but my own, cleaning out the critters and what not. Now, I am not fully sure if that puma and me had relations, but if you ever come across a bushy lipped wildcat you can be reasonably sure I'm it's pappy.

I learned my lesson from the experience and that is why I keep my saddlebags full of Snickers. They do the trick when I feel one of them low sugar fugues coming on. As a result I could appreciate the peacefulness of the country without fear of another episode.

I chose to vacation there because nothing soothes my diabeetus better than murdering low sugar savages. It also calms my moustache and whatever achieves that, my friends, is the right thing to do.

At any rate, I was filling a burlap sack with savages, so I could dispose of them on my own terms later, when I come across the camp known as the Hanoi Hilton. I met John, and Bud Day, and all the other good American men who were doing their time. When I think of the torments they were suffering it sets my moustache to bristling. I did not interfere, however, because it was their cross to carry and fate is not a thing to tamper with. The best I could do was slip Snickers through the fence for them and I was happy to do it.

The guards at the camp didn't give me any guff. They have a name for me in that part of the world. My mouth can't form the savage word but it is my understanding that it translates to something like "Formidable Round Eyed Bear Who Does Unspeakable Things To Wildcats After Murdering Entire Village And Also Has Diabeetus". At any rate, the guards let me come and go as I pleased.

I've said my piece. The long and short of it is that I'm backing John McCain because he is an honorable man. He has put his country first in the past, and it is my belief that he will do so in the future. Also, before I go I want to remind you to check your blood sugar. Otherwise, I will find you and I will kill you, and you can take that to the bank.

Warmest Regards,
Wilford Brimley

Check Your Blood Sugar

or I will murder you where you sleep

Wilford Brimley here. You might have heard that the senior Tallyban Leader died this week. You might even have heard that he died of the diabeetus. Well, I'm here to give my account of it and you can be damn sure it is the true account.

I was riding my horse in Kansas, going from town to town, checking folks blood sugar when I got word from Liberty Medical that I was needed in Pakistan. They told me this Tallyban fella had the diabeetus something fierce and needed to be put down. It is never easy for me to kill a man but dammit he should have checked his blood sugar when he had the chance. I wasn't gonna feel bad about sending him the Hell. Not one iota.

The folks at Liberty Medical offered to parachute me in there but I told them Wilford Brimley don't parachute nowheres. I tunneled my way from Wichita to the Afghan / Pakistan border. When I come out of the ground I looked like some deranged, bushy badger.

They know me well in those parts. I've been there many times spreading my message and my seed. Those hills remind me of my days hunting renegade Apache in the Sierra Nevada's. In fact, the Afghans know me by my Apache name, Bear with Diabeetus.

I crept over to Pakistan in the dead of night. It didn't take long for me to catch his stink on the wind and follow it to his cave. I could smell the diabeetus coursing through his veins as if my moustache was saturated with it.

"Bear with Diabeetus, I've been expecting you! Lulululululu." He come at me with his Tallyban war cry. I jerked the AK-47 from his feeble hands and slapped him with my moustache. I could have strangled him right then and there but never let it be said that Wilford Brimley isn't a fair man. I gave him one of my revolvers.

"Now we're gonna have a duel. When my moustache twitches, that means go." I got the drop on him and finished him off by strangling him with my bare hands. End of story.

Before I leave you here, I just want to make sure you understand the lesson to be had from this story. It is very simple. Check your blood sugar and check it often, or I will creep into your house and murder you with my bare hands.

Warmest regards,
Wilford Brimley

Wilford Brimley Swallowed a Frog

I finished my first Wilford Brimley - Conan O'Brien-esque video. I'm not going to mention how long it took me. I was following this tutorial I found.

First off, I obtained Adobe Premiere Pro 3.0 for some reason. The tutorial calls for 6.5. Needless to say, the screens are very different. So, I spent a good bit of time translating the 6.5 steps to 3.0.

Secondly, I have Macromedia Fireworks, while the tutorial calls for Adobe Photoshop. Not a big deal here. They are pretty much the same thing.

The big problem I ran into was my webcam. The video and audio was off by a second or two. So, I tried seperating the video and audio from inside Premeire. This involved starting the video a wee bit after the audio. Playing it by ear, making endless fraction of a second adjustments. Finally, I was able to sync them to my satisfaction. I was ready to export it as an avi file.

"Error compiling movie". Sigh. Apparently, Premiere didn't like the way I chopped the audio and video. Oh well. I searched around a bit and came across some freeware to sych audio and video. Virtualdub, in case you ever run into the same problem. I synched it up and saved as avi, so far so good. I put the avi in Premiere and played it. Somanabitch! Still out of synch! So, I went back into Virtualdub and delayed the video even more. I started out the day with video playing a couple of seconds before the audio started. Now I had the audio starting a couple of seconds before the video started. Que sara sara. I plugged it into Premiere and it was synched up almost perfectly! Weird. Not that I'm complaining. I'm just glad it worked, and am willing to forget that there is no logical reason why.

So, here it is. I'm not completely happy with it. The lips are too pale and a little disproportionate to his face. Not a bad first effort though. Well, overlooking the fact that I made him sound like Sling-blade just swallowed a frog. Ummmm Huuhhhmmm.