Thursday, October 16, 2008

Fictionisms: Senator Government

Note: I debated some about posting this because first of all, it is an obvious rip off of Frankj's In My Worlds, and secondly it's not very good. After some consideration I decided that this is my blog and I'll post whatever the hell I please.

The couple was getting ready to call it a night. Their first day touring the nation's capitol was an enjoyable one, if not a little tiring. They were exhausted.

"What is that person doing over by that police station, dear?"

"Why, it looks like he is planting a bomb! By the looks of his tattered clothes and long greasy hair, I would say he is was one of those hippies we read about." The man squinted his eyes to get a better look. "The brochures advised us to ignore them and keep upwind."

"We can't let him just plant bombs anywhere he pleases! There must be something we can do!"

"Whoosh!" A clean, articulate black man appeared before them. He had a red bedsheet draped over his shoulders like a cape. His arms jutted out in a pretend flying position. "Can I be of some assistance? Whoosh!"

"Who are you?"

"I am", he puffed out his chest and placed his balled fists on his hips, "SENATOR GOVERNMENT! Whoosh!"

The man and woman blinked at each other. The woman reached into her purse and wrapped her hands around the pepper spray she kept for emergencies.

"Well", the man said, "that hippy over there appears to be planting a bomb."

"Enough distractions", Senator Government declared, "people aren't worried about that! We need to spend money on education so typical white people like you will know what issues are important!"

The man and woman blinked at each other again. The man scratched his head. His head hurt. Not a headache really, more of a think-ache.

"Do you see that baby across the street?" Senator Government pointed across the street. A young woman was cooing into a baby stroller. "Your so called 'bomber' is planting those bombs while that baby is still a baby. Now don't you think enough time has passed? Why can't we discuss the issues instead of dwelling on the past? Whoosh!"

Senator Government pretend flew beside the woman. "Give me 30 percent of whatever you have in your purse", he demanded, "it is the patriotic thing to do."

The woman sprayed the pepper spray in his face. Senator Government gave a blood curling yelp and started jumping up and down like a spoiled child.

The dirty hippy stopped what he was doing and approached them. He recognized Senator Government right away. "What's the matter, Barry?"

"Senator Government!" Barry managed to say between huge sobbing gulps of air. His face was streaming tears and pepper spray. "That mean lady did something to my eyes Uncle Billy! I was only trying to spread her wealth like you taught me!"

Uncle Billy wanted to lay into the couple something fierce. He decided against it because he was, after all, a dirty hippy and the woman had pepper spray. "We better get you home and cleaned up. My only regret is that I didn't finish blowing up that police station!"

Uncle Billy took Barry by the hand and crossed the street. Once across, they both shook there fists at the couple and continued walking home.

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