Wednesday, December 3, 2008

Freaky Xrays

what's not to love about them?



Many more where that came from. How did this one get in there? Baby. The other white meat.

Monday, December 1, 2008

Plaxico Burress is a Jive Turkey

i went there

Plaxico Burress shot himself in the leg. You can take the gang star out of the ghetto, but you can't take the ghetto out of the gang star.

I'm thinking it went down like the poker scene from Semi-Pro.
(Warning - Profanity)

Watch more SpikedHumor videos on AOL Video

Friday, November 28, 2008

Turkey Leftovers

let the games begin

I was looking up left over turkey recipes and didn't see my favorite, Turkey Devonshire, on any of the lists. So, I googled Turkey Devonshire on its own and discovered that the reason it wasn't on any of the lists I looked at is because it is a Pittsburgh thing.

Pittsburghers have been dining on Devonshire sandwiches (and its variations) since 1934. That's when the creator of the Devonshire, Frank Blandi, opened his first restaurant, The Stratford, at Millvale and Centre avenues in Shadyside. The sandwich was such a success Blandi began making the sauce in five-gallon batches.

You learn something new everyday.

Here is the original recipe:


Frank Blandi's Original Devonshire Sandwich
Cream Sauce:
3/4 stick butter, melted
1 cup flour
1/4 pound Cheddar cheese, grated
1 pint chicken broth
1 pint hot milk
1 teaspoon salt

Melt butter in deep pan and add flour, stirring constantly. Add chicken broth and then hot milk, stirring all the while. Add cheese and salt. Bring to boil, then cook slowly for 20 minutes, still stirring. Cool to lukewarm. Beat with wire whip until smooth before using. This makes enough sauce for 6 Devonshire sandwiches.

For each sandwich:
1 slice toast, crusts trimmed off
3 slices crisp bacon
5 thin slices cooked turkey breast
Cream Sauce, recipe above
Melted butter
Parmesan cheese and paprika

Preheat oven to 450 degrees.

In each flat, individual oven-proof casserole dish, place 1 slice of toast and top with 3 slices bacon. Add 5 thin slices of cooked turkey breast. Cover completely with cream sauce. Sprinkle with a little melted butter, then with the combined Parmesan cheese and paprika. Bake 10 to 15 minutes or until golden brown.



Me? I'm much too lazy to make it that way. To me, the whole point of leftovers is that they are already prepared. Just heat and eat, right? My recipe isn't quite that simple, but it is pretty close.


Bacon
Sliced Bread
Turkey
Campbell's Cheddar Cheese Soup.

Fry the bacon. Toast the bread. Nuke the turkey.

Add less milk to the soup so that it is more saucy than soupy. Pour it over the other ingredients. Don't be shy, drown that stuff with the cheese sauce!

Thursday, November 27, 2008

Happy Thanksgiving

Here are a couple of quick pictures for you:





Have a great day of parades, food, and football.

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Super Mario Bros, Obama Edition

spreading the wealth in the mushroom kingdom

Playing on the Obama-mania of so many of his cyber-aged supporters (young voters preferred Obama more than two to one), the game combines the nostalgia of Super Mario Brothers with a biting political message.

Here's my take on it. I was going to use Princess Peach as the "evil rich" symbol, but decided Rich Uncle Pennybags, from Monopoly, is more recognizable as such.

Monday, November 24, 2008

Obama Expected to Lift Restrictions on Embryonic Stem Cell Research

From Fox News:

"As president, I will lift the current administration's ban on federal funding of research on embryonic stem cell lines created after August 9, 2001, through executive order, and I will ensure that all research on stem cells is conducted ethically and with rigorous oversight," he said.
To me, this is a plain example of the dishonesty of the Left, and by extension the Mainstream Media. They would have you believe that Bush imposed the regulations purely based on an ethical question (albeit that is part of it).

In fact, there is no regulation against the research of embryonic stem cells. The regulation is against Federal funding of that research.
Under President George W. Bush, federal money for research on human embryonic stems cells was limited to those stem cell lines, or families of constantly dividing cells, that were created before Aug. 9, 2001. No federal dollars could be used on research with cell lines from embryos destroyed from that point forward. Federal regulations do not restrict embryonic stem cell research using state or private funds.
The next time you hear a report or argument that research was restricted purely based on ethical standards, you'll know the person saying it is either stupid or flat out lying.

If there was a viable way to turn this into the miracle cure the Left is so fond of claiming it is, then why hasn't a private company sunk some money into it? Why is Government so willing to throw our tax dollars at things which fail in the private sector?

Saturday, November 22, 2008

Past Controversies Hang Over Obama Cabinet Picks

present and future controversies to follow

Senators will have to decide in the confirmation hearings whether to broach Richardson's involvement, though marginal, in the Monica Lewinsky scandal, as well as Napolitano's work in the Anita Hill sexual harassment case and Holder's support of President Clinton's controversial pardon of Marc Rich.

For someone who based his entire campaign on change, he sure is planning to fill his Cabinet with many of the same old players. Unless they start talking about it on American Idol, most of the people who put him in office will not hear about it. And those who do hear about it won't care.

Friday, November 21, 2008

Sarah Palin Pardons a Turkey

it doesn't get much funnier than this

Sarah Palin did that silly thing that every Governor does around Thanksgiving and pardoned a turkey. Afterward, she gave an interview while another turkey gets stuffed into a grinder in the background. Priceless!



Her attitude is perfect. I'm looking forward to the rebuilding of the Republican Party with her leading the way.

Anyway, I wanted to make a flash movie with her giving the interview with some cartoon violence going on in the background. Unfortunately, I couldn't find any suitable cartoon clips for it and I'm not sure I would have been able to pull it off anyway. So I settled for this:

Thursday, November 20, 2008

Grenade camera to aid UK troops

it would sure aid our troops if we gave our reporters splodey cameras

Saw this on IMAO


A "grenade" camera, that would enable soldiers to look into hazardous areas, is being developed for UK troops.

Dubbed the I-Ball the wireless device is robust enough to survive being thrown onto a battlefield.

The I-Ball's internal camera gives a 360 degree view, with images being sent from the instant it is launched.

It is thought the new technology would enable soldiers to see into potential danger spots without putting themselves at risk of ambush.
The West will always have the upper hand because of innovations such as this.

For instance, look at the Israel / Palestine conflict. Back in 2003, the Israelis were developing this:


The CornerShot: Makes Tight Corners an Advantage

Meanwhile, the other side of that conflict is still using these:

Al Franken, Norm Coleman, Hanging Chad

good grief

Once again, I'm taking things off of Rachel Lucas's blog. I can't help myself. I get inspired. I have to say that it was nice to see her slowly come out of politics blogging retirement for her latest post. Granted, the post was more against stupidity than about politics, but aren't the two mutually exclusive more times than not?

The recount is underway in Minnesota and there is bickering over smudges and eraser marks reminisceint of hanging chads. sigh. If you are a Pittsburgh Steelers fan (and I see no reason why you wouldn't be) you will remember a certain Thanksgiving day coin toss involving Jerome Bettis a few years ago. He called Tails, the official said he called Heads, hillarity ensued. When you go to the tape there is a barely perceptable hhh sound before he called tails, so it was more like "Hh-Tails!", but come on! Anyway, the ballots are kind of like that.

Go over to Rachel's and look at some of the contested ballots. Between uninformed voters and immoral campaigns the American Election Process has become something beyond ridiculous.

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Faith the Wonder Dog, Now With Sounds

bigger, faster, better

I took the Faith the Wonder Dog video I found on Rachel Lucas's blog and added sounds to it. I added "The Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairies" as the soundtrack and a few well placed bouncy sounds. Why? Because I can. Basically, this is me fiddling around with Flash. The video actually synched up very well with the music without any tweaks. I let it end abruptly. I'm lazy.



Once again, the sound is hissy. My laptop is great for everything except recording sounds. I can't convert the Flash Projects to any format YouTube will accept unless I use a workaround. This involves capturing a section of screen and recording the audio like an old fashioned tape recorder. It frustrates the heck out of me. Maybe I'll explain it a little further sometime.

Man Faces Battery Charges for Hitting Girlfriend With Sandwich

hold the mayo

What is the first question that pops into your head when you read the title of this article? If you are like me, you are asking, "what kind of sandwich was it?".


Police haven't said what type of sandwich was involved.
Naturally, the media fails to inform once again. You know what? Next time keep the story to yourself. How hard can it be to call the woman, or look inside the car to see if there are any sandwich bits left? Thanks for nothing.

Al Qaeda No. 2 in Video Insults Obama With Racial Epithet

oh no he didn't

Dang! He went there.

In Al Qaeda's first response to Obama's victory, al-Zawahiri also called the president-elect — along with secretaries of state Colin Powell and Condoleezza Rice — "house Negroes."

Speaking in Arabic, al-Zawahiri uses the term "abeed al-beit," which literally translates as "house slaves." But Al Qaeda supplied English subtitles of his speech that included the translation as "house Negroes."
Obama should sit down with this guy and try to change his thinking.

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

How Obama Got Elected ... Interviews With Obama Supporters

thanks mainstream media



This is a sad commentary on the media more than anything else. These people knew nothing about the candidates past or policy, but they sure knew how much was spent on Sarah Palin's clothes and that her daughter is pregnant.

They know nothing about Obama's shady past, but they know they are supposed to hate Republicans in general and Sarah Palin in particular.

The funny thing is that deep down, these people actually believe they are smarter than Sarah Palin.

Monday, November 17, 2008

Meet Faith The Wonder Dog

it's ok to point and laugh

I found this on Rachel Lucas's blog and just had to post it here. Faith is a dog who is without front legs. She overcame it and gets around by walking upright and hopping like a kangaroo. Incredible.

Obamas Will Not Get Puppy Before White House Move

one promise, one fail

President-elect Barack Obama said on Election Night that he had promised his young daughters that they could get a dog once the race was over.


He can't even keep promises to his kids, where does that leave the American People? I'm not serious, of course ... but that is the type of thing that Bush would have been called out on.

I read last week that a canine club in Peru offered the Obama's a Peruvian hairless dog. His older daughter suffers from allergies, so a hairless dog would solve that problem.

I don't feel comfortable with that. It would be too similar to a certain evil doctor with a penchant for hairless pets.


No Obama, we don't gnaw on kittehs ear!

Friday, November 14, 2008

Mitch Mitchell, Jimi Hendrix Experience Drummer, Dies

rip

Alone and in a hotel room. Rock 'n Roll. I'm a big fan of Hendrix. Especially the bluesy and jazzy stuff. If you like pure instrumental jam sessions, do yourself a favor and find the album "Nine to the Universe". Five songs, one album, few words. Hendrix at his best, in my opinion.

Here is a sample:



I don't believe Mitch Mitchel played on any of those tracks. For him, it is pretty much agreed that his feature song is Manic Depression. Here it is:

Thursday, November 13, 2008

Artists stage street scenes to lurk in Google maps

I don't get it

I found this article today. It peaked my interest. Mainly because it occurred in my hometown of Pittsburgh, PA.

PITTSBURGH — Anyone using Google's Street View map feature to scan one downtown Pittsburgh street is bound to do a double-take.

Two 17th century swordsmen doing battle? An escape from a building using knotted sheets? A laser zapping a Steelers fan and a Cleveland Browns fan, rendering them love-struck and about to embrace?

[snip ...]

Google really did capture those scenes when it sent a car equipped with cameras down Pittsburgh's Sampsonia Way in May to take photographs for its online maps. But these images and most of the other scenes caught on Sampsonia were staged by artists Ben Kinsley and Robin Hewlett. The two set out to explore the boundaries of the real and virtual worlds after Pittsburgh became included in Street View.
So I went to Google Maps and typed "Sampsonia Way Pittsburgh, PA" in the address field. Here is a screenshot.



I don't get it. Maybe I'm just a stupid redneck from Western PA and don't have any art sense, but it just looks like a random street in Anytown, USA to me.

I mean you have a school, some trees, Wilford Brimely strangling a guy, a fence, some buildings ... Nothing special, and certainly not anything I would call "art". I feel cheated.

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Thomas Sowell Readers Digest Condensed Soup

mmm, mmm, good

I straight jacked this from the Thomas Sowell Appreciation Facebook group. They took it from Wiki, so my hands are clean. Thomas Sowell is one of my favorite columnists. I especially enjoy his "Random Thought" articles. They are kind of like Ben Franklin mixed with Yogi Berra for the modern age. Then again, many of the thoughts have been learned and forgotten several times. Enjoy.

"One of the bitter ironies of the 20th century was that communism, which began as an egalitarian doctrine accusing capitalism of selfishness and calloused sacrifices of others, became in power a system whose selfishness and callousness toward others made the sins of capitalism pale."

"'Entitlement' is not only the opposite of achievement, it undermines incentives to do all the hard work that leads to achievement. It is the people who were born and raised in the welfare state atmosphere who seem to have great difficulty finding jobs."

"Envy plus rhetoric equals 'social justice'."

"One of the sad signs of our times is that we have demonized those who produce, subsidized those who refuse to produce, and canonized those who complain."

"Blacks were not enslaved because they were black but because they were available. Slavery has existed in the world for thousands of years. Whites enslaved other whites in Europe for centuries before the first black was brought to the Western hemisphere. Asians enslaved Europeans. Asians enslaved other Asians. Africans enslaved other Africans, and indeed even today in North Africa, blacks continue to enslave blacks."


"The first lesson of economics is scarcity: there is never enough of anything to fully satisfy all those who want it. The first lesson of politics is to disregard the first lesson of economics."

"Both free speech rights and property rights belong legally to individuals, but their real function is social, to benefit vast numbers of people who do not themselves exercise these rights."

"Prices are important not because money is considered paramount but because prices are a fast and effective conveyor of information through a vast society in which fragmented knowledge must be coordinated."

"The real minimum wage is zero [unemployment]."

"Imagine a political system so radical as to promise to move more of the poorest 20% of the population into the richest 20% than remain in the poorest bracket within the decade? You don't need to imagine it. It's called the United States of America."

"A recently reprinted memoir by Frederick Douglass has footnotes explaining what words like 'arraigned,' 'curried' and 'exculpate' meant, and explaining who Job was. In other words, this man who was born a slave and never went to school educated himself to the point where his words now have to be explained to today's expensively under-educated generation."

"Each new generation born is in effect an invasion of civilization by little barbarians, who must be civilized before it is too late."

"Freedom has cost too much blood and agony to be relinquished at the cheap price of rhetoric."

"One of the most fashionable notions of our times is that social problems like poverty and oppression breed wars. Most wars, however, are started by well-fed people with time on their hands to dream up half-baked ideologies or grandiose ambitions, and to nurse real or imagined grievances."

"Like a baseball game, wars are not over till they are over. Wars don't run on a clock like football. No previous generation was so hopelessly unrealistic that this had to be explained to them."

"Would you bet your paycheck on a weather forecast for tomorrow? If not, then why should this country bet billions on 'global warming' predictions that have even less foundation?

"Many of the same people who cry 'No blood for oil' also want higher gas-mileage standards for cars. But higher mileage standards have meant lighter and flimsier cars, leading to more injuries and deaths in accidents — in other words, trading blood for oil."

"It takes considerable knowledge just to realize the extent of your own ignorance."

"The simplest and most psychologically satisfying explanation of any observed phenomenon is that it happened that way because someone wanted it to happen that way."

"Facts do not 'speak for themselves.' They speak for or against competing theories. Facts divorced from theories or visions are mere isolated curiosities."

"The march of science and technology does not imply growing intellectual complexity in the lives of most people. It often means the opposite."
You can find his columns over at Townhall.

Michael Crichton, Yul Brynner, and Westworld

who loves ya, baby?

Rachel Lucas posted an article about new robot technology that mimics human facial expressions. The picture provided made me instantly think of Yul Brynner in Westworld.



One of her commentors mentioned Kevin Spacey. Touche`. I'm going to stick with Yul Brynner though because, along with the appearance, the technology made me think of Westworld. Besides, it's a generation thing. Back in the day you couldn't look at a bald guy without instantly thinking of either Yul Brynner or Telly Savalas.

Plot summary from Imdb:

A amusement park for rich vacationers. The park provides its customers a way to live out their fantasies through the use of robots that provide anything they want. Two of the vacationers choose a wild west adventure. However, after a computer breakdown, they find that they are now being stalked by a rogue robot gun-slinger.
This was one of my favorite movies growing up. I was always particularly fond of movies and books having to do with the "Wild West", and then to add rogue robots into the mix? You damn skippy.

An interesting side note, this movie was written and directed by Michael Crichton. I didn't know that until I looked it up today. The man obviously didn't look at amusement parks the same way as most people. They seemed to have a habit of turning bad in his stories. Unfortunately, he passed away earlier this month. He left behind an impressive body of work.

Here is a scene from Westworld. Keep in mind that only James Brolin's (I know, get over it), and Richard Benjaman's characters are human. The rest are robots.



Also, here is an extended trailer. This is probably the better video, but it is set not to allow embeds.

If you enjoy Westerns and Science Fiction then I recommend this movie. The effects obviously don't hold up, the movie was made in 1973, but the story is solid.

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Sing Along With Hugo: Chavez Cuts an Album

oldies but goodies

I found this on Fox News today.

The Venezuelan president is lending his voice to a couple of revolutionary tunes -- literally -- on a new collection of songs and poems released by his United Socialist Party of Venezuela (PSUV). It's what every youngster in Caracas will want on his iPod.
Exclusive to Right U R, here is a commercial that will be hitting Venezuelan airwaves soon. He sings like a bird. Who knew?



Here is the original clip of Eddie Murphy doing Buckwheat's Greatest Hits for SNL on YouTube. Enjoy.

Monday, November 10, 2008

Election Over, Ayers, Wright & Farrakhan Emerge

wright on cue



The Election Party is barely over and, right on cue, Obama's shady associations start crawling out of the woodwork. Is anyone surprised?

Farrakhan: "I feel freer today to say the things that are in my heart," said the controversial religious leader.
Do you mean the stuff you have been spewing for years hasn't come from your heart? Now we can look forward to hearing what he really thinks. Oh goodie.
Wright: "The media didn't care about the whole sermon and what it was about. They just used those 10 seconds and used it as a weapon of mass destruction against [Obama's] campaign."
How exactly do you take "God D*** America!" out of context?
Ayers: “It’s all guilt by association,” Ayers said. “They made me into a cartoon character -- they threw me up onstage just to pummel me."
I wish someone threw you up on stage and pummeled you. Heck, I would pay money to watch it. Somebody call Fox and tell them we have their next reality tv show for them. Actually, you should be getting pummeled right now by some guy named Bubba in Cell Block C.

Also, this:
Obama's former pastor says media exploited him.

Saturday, November 8, 2008

Obama Apologizes to Nancy Reagan for Seance Comment

non heinous

From Fox News:

At a news conference in Chicago, Obama said he had spoken with all the living presidents as he prepares to take office in January. Then he smiled and said, "I didn't want to get into a Nancy Reagan thing about doing any seances."

Some of the right wing online community are trying to get worked up over this. Come on, really? Let's wait for him to do something truly offensive so as not to be accused of crying wolf too many times.

That isn't to say I won't be making fun of him:


President elect Barack Obama revealed his inexperience last night when, during a seance, he conjured a character from Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure. His intended target was late President Abraham Lincoln.

Yeah, I know, pretty weak. I was going for pure silliness. I got the idea from the caption contest at The Gone Rick Motel. In the photo, Obama looks like he is trying to conjure something. Combine that with the seance story and it just seemed like the right thing to do.

Here is the original photo and my caption, before I tied the seance story with it:


Will somebody answer the damn phone? What time is it anyway?

Also, just for the heck of it, here is a scene from Bill and Ted. Enjoy:

Unity Equals Divided Plus One

fuzzy math



Funny because it is true. Cartoon snagged from Furious Diaper.

Friday, November 7, 2008

Barney Bites Reporter

at least one republican isn't going down without a fight!



From Fox News:

It seems President Bush's dog Barney wasn't much in the mood for friendly attention during his walk outside the White House on Thursday. So when Reuters reporter Jon Decker reached down to pet the Scottish terrier, the seemingly docile dog snapped at him and bit Decker's right index finger.

Way to go, Barney! Where have you been for the last eight years? Naturally, you can see the video on YouTube.

Crossroads




OK. Maybe I was a little too ambitious with this one? I do know one thing, it took much longer to make than I anticipated. I wish I knew how to draw!

Hopefully, the meaning is clear. The point I am trying to make is that the GOP is currently at a crossroads. Moving left has obviously not worked out for us, and if we continue to move down that path it will lead to certain doom for the Republican Party. Incidentally, those are buzzards on the left path. We may as well call ourselves Democrat-Lite at this point.

We need to move back to the right. Stop trying to reach "across the aisle", a term I am thoroughly fed up with as I am sure most conservatives are. That is the only way I see for us to return to that "shining city on a hill", as Ronald Reagan so eloquently put it.

Thursday, November 6, 2008

Quote of the Day

fat little bastage

From Ann Coulter's latest column: The Reign of Lame Falls Mainly on McCain.

This was such an enormous Democratic year that even John Murtha won his congressional seat in Pennsylvania after calling his constituents racists. It turns out they're not racists -- they're retards. Question: What exactly would one have to say to alienate Pennsylvanians? That Joe Paterno should retire?

What do you expect? This is the state that voted out Rick Santorum two years ago. Gotta love Ann Coulter though, she certainly has a way with words.

Obama campaign workers angry over unpaid wages

a day late and a dollar short



The cartoon was inspired by this article.

Lines were long and tempers flared Wednesday not to vote but to get paid for canvassing for Barack Obama. Several hundred people are still waiting to get their pay for last-minute campaigning.

...

"I worked nine hours a day for 4 days and got paid half of what I should have earned," said Randall Waldon.

Heh. Now why does that sound familiar? Maybe Randall Waldon will be voting Republican the next time around? Somehow I doubt that.

To be fair, the article has since been updated.
Indianapolis - The Obama campaign says most of the payment issues that brought hundreds of upset campaign workers to the Indianapolis office Wednesday have been resolved.

Provided that is true, it still does not take away from Randall's priceless quote. Explain to me again how it is OK to take someone's hard earned money? Don't be selfish.

Hat tip to Rachel Lucas, once again.

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

RINO Go Home

buh-bye

I had this idea for a political cartoon. I can't draw, so I improvised. It turned out good enough for me:



Most will get the meaning right away. For those of you who don't, a RINO is a Republican In Name Only. We have one here in Pennsylvania. His name is Arlen Spector. These are the types that have an R next to their names but do not live up to conservative expectations.

Something good can come out of the current situation. We can take back the party. RINO's need not apply. The base has spoken. Let's live up to our reputation as the party of reform and start by cleaning up our own ranks

Tuesday, November 4, 2008

Get a Good Nights Sleep

there is work to do in the morning

Wake up tomorrow and begin the process of taking back the republican party. Right now the liberals are in charge. There is nothing we can do about that. They will fail. Look at their congress the past two years.

Maybe this is what was needed. A 'cleansing' so to speak. We need to send a message to Republican politicians. Be conservative or get out. We can take back the party, and Sarah Palin and Bobby Jindal will lead the charge. Four years of Obama should do the trick.

Get a good nights sleep. We have work to do in the morning.

Election Night: How Does It Make YOU Feel?

i can't take it anymore!

Fox just called PA for Obama. This pretty much sums up how I feel:



I think I've had enough. I'm going to watch an episode of Deadwood and go to bed. Tomorrow I'll wake up, cry a bit in the shower, then get on with my life.

Rachel Lucas promises to live blog all night. Of course, so will lots of other blogs, but Rachel is damned funny. Plus you are sure to get some interpretive dog pictures. Nobody else offers that.

Good night all.

Billy Club Wielding Security Gaurds at Philly Polls



Just got back from the polls. Counted. Unfortunately, I don't feel very confident about McCain winning Pennsylvania. Just the sense I got around my workplace today. My department leans toward Obama. At least me and a few of my coworkers will cancel some of those out.

Then, there are these stories coming out of Philadelphia. It's your first look at the civilian security force Obama wants to build in the U.S.

Here’s the vid of billy club-wielding “security” guards at the 1221 Fairmount Ave. polling place in Philly from Election Journal. Just as I suspected, these guys look like NBPP from the emblem on one of the “guard’s” jackets.


NBPP stands for the New Black Panther Party, in case you didn't know. Click the link, check out the video. Voter intimidation? I can see it.

On a lighter side, a photo of Obama's ballot was leaked today. My younger brother released it on his blog, coolerthanyou.org :



I sure hope that is still funny tomorrow. Deep breaths, happy thoughts. Midgets on tricycles. Ahhhh.

Fake Breaking Election News

oh goodie

This just in: Polls have closed in Holland and France. They're calling them early for Obama.

On a brighter note, all of the former Soviet breakaway countries are showing McCain up big!

Happy Voting Day

Monday, November 3, 2008

Joe the Plumber Plans Life After 2008 Election

i sure hope he doesn't have to spread his wealth

Joe will be releasing a book titled "Joe the Plumber -- Fighting for the American Dream". Take a look at this quote from the article:

The book, called "Joe the Plumber -- Fighting for the American Dream," is to be released by a group called PearlGate Publishing and other small publishing houses.

"I am not going to a conglomerate that way we actually can get the economy jump started. Like there is five publishing companies in Michigan. There's a couple down in Texas. They are small ones that can handle like 10 or 15,000 copies. I can go to a big one that could handle a million or two. But they don't need the help. They are already rich. So that's spreading the wealth to me," he said.

This guy 'gets it'. Here's to wishing you much success, Joe.

More:
S.E. Cupp met Joe today. I'm jealous! I want to meet Joe the Plumber! On second thought, you know what? I have met him. We all have. We meet him all of the time and don't even realize it. Sometimes he is the guy removing your tree stump, and sometimes he is the guy fixing your furnace. Who knows? You might be Joe the Plumber.

Meeting him in person crystallized for me what has made him the powerful symbol of working America that he's become in such short time. He is unequivocally genuine. He came at every issue we discussed from a personal place, and not a sweeping ideological one.

Marine vet at Russell rally: Murtha a fat little bastard

i don't respect his authori-tye

You just gotta love this:

During the rally, Shawn Bryan, a former sergeant in the U.S. Marine Corps., said Murtha visited his unit in Iraq in 2005. At the time, Murtha told the troops "what a great job we did," Bryan said, only to see him tell his district back home he no longer supported the effort.

Bryan said he didn't put his life on the line for his country "just so some fat little bastard can come back and run his mouth."


John Murtha has called Western Pennsylvanians racists. He has called us rednecks. He has called active Marines cold-blooded killers. Who does this guy represent? Not me.



Also,
David Drake: Murtha A Fat Little Bastard
The Jawa Report: Marine Vet At Russell Rally: Murtha a Fat Little Ba***rd
Wizbang: Marine Vet: Murtha a "Fat Little Bastard"

Sunday, November 2, 2008

Have You Heard That The Bird Is The Word?

I'm sorry, I thought everyone had heard

Hello, Gasgwar here. You know, there's an issue facing many Americans today that I know concerns a great number of us. According to recent Gallup polls one in twelve Americans is unaware that the bird is the word. I for one dream of an America where everyone knows that the bird is the word.


Family Guy - The Bird's the Word - Click here for more amazing videos

This cracked me up. I don't know why, but it did, and that's good enough for me.

Saturday Night Live McCain QVC Open

everything must go



Pull Joe Biden's string and he talks for 45 minutes, heh.

Saturday, November 1, 2008

McCain Sign Stealer Gets Shocked

and awed

Video from Fox News



Guess who the bad guy is? If you said the property owner you go to the head of the class.

How did the police get involved? When did we become a nation of cry babies where the police have to get involved with something as silly as this? The kid learned a lesson. Don't mess with other peoples property. Too bad he had to learn it from someone other than his father.

Puttin On The Ritz

it's fraahn-kin-steen

Cowboy Blob has his weekend photoshop / caption contest up. Here is the photo and my entry:


Little Girl: You'll declare its simply topping; To be there and hear them swapping; Smart tidbits.
Mummy: Puttin on the ritz!

Here is the reference:



Maybe I should have watched the video before posting my entry. The lyrics I used didn't make it into the Young Frankenstein clip. Oh well, you get the idea.

Other caption contests:
The Gone Rick Motel
Outside the Beltway
RT’s Ponderings
WILLisms
Wizbang
Support Your Local Gunfighter

Here is the photo and my entry for The Gone Rick Motel:

This was the first time Disney had an animatron just show up in front of the Hall of Presidents.

Friday, October 31, 2008

The Three Amigos

badges? we don't need no stinking badges!



The RNC better not have put this in a commercial too! **shakes fist**

The Three Stooges

nyuk, nyuk, nyuk



Update:
After I made this, I happened onto Hot Air and wouldn't you know they had this video up?



And I thought I was being so clever. Not really, I was actually thinking it was so obvious but made it anyway.

Thursday, October 30, 2008

Obama's Aunt Found Living in Rundown Boston Neighborhood

hoping for change

From Fox News:

Zeituni Onyango, the aunt so affectionately described in Obama's best-selling memoir "Dreams From My Father," lives in a disabled-access flat on a rundown public housing estate in South Boston...

[snip]

Speaking outside her home in Flaherty Way, South Boston, on Tuesday, Onyango, 56, confirmed she was the "Auntie Zeituni" in Obama's memoir. She declined to answer most other questions about her relationship with the presidential contender until after the November 4 election.

"I can't talk about it, I just pray for him, that's all," she said, adding: "After the 4th, I can talk to anyone."


What an odd thing to say. It's as if somebody told her not to say anything until after the 4th. She didn't say she doesn't want to talk about it, or she won't talk about it. She said she can't talk about it.

I don't know if Obama wants to keep this woman from talking to reporters or not. Maybe he even found it in his heart to give her a little bit of his money after all this time? I wouldn't put it past him.

Or, maybe she is just proud of her nephew and doesn't want to hinder his progress. I mean, let's keep it real here, I would be proud of him if he were in my family. Say what you want about him, but don't deny that he has "reached the big time".

Perhaps the American Media could stop following Joe the Plumber around and check up on it, that's all I'm saying. You did notice that it was the Times of London who broke this story, right?



Update: She's here illegally. Anyone surprised?

Red S.E. Cupp

welcome to the neighborhood

My new favorite author, S.E. Cupp has a sparkling new blog, Red S.E. Cupp.

Welcome to Red S.E. Cupp, my new online home. Here you can peruse my op-eds, view my video clips, listen to my podcasts and read my blog posts. You'll also be able to link up to some of my favorite bloggers, writers, pundits and YouTube auteurs.
To get you started, here is a funny clip of her on The Strategy Room. She and Straka (he of grrrr fame) had a night on the town and got down with Wonder Woman. Straka is a party animal.

Peruvian Faith Healers Predict Election Results

and then form a pan flute band



The results were quickly invalidated when it was discovered no rum or chicken was offered up to Jobu.

Reference.
Don't ask about what else is going on in the video. I don't know, and I don't wanna know.

Introducing: Lil Obama

what a lil rascal!



Hat tip to IMAO for linking to it and Treacher where it originated.

I also posted this on my new Facebook group, Conservative Humor. Feel free to join up and add me as a friend! It's a great place to meet up with like minded people. See the left hand sidebar for my Facebook details.

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

Carl The Tooth Williams Retires

i knew this sounded familiar

Saw this on Fox News today.

In the past five years he has put together a particularly impressive losing streak, failing to win in 88 successive bouts. He has lost to 42 future world, European, British and Commonwealth champions, including Naseem Hamed, and has fought more bouts than any other boxer in the world. But this one, No 300, will be his last.

"I've had my eye on the 300 mark for a while, and it's a little milestone I want to achieve, but I don't want to fight on," he said. "People keep saying to me that I'll get a call in a few weeks' time offering me a fight and I'll say yes, but I mean it when I say this is it."


It reminded me of an In Living Color skit. Thanks to the magic of the internet and the good people at YouTube, you can see it for yourself.



Speaking of boxing, I found this while searching for the article above. Ricky Hatton is my favorite boxer but I tuned out for awhile after he lost to Floyd Mayweather, that is why the article is a little old.

"It's a strange one, isn't it?" Hatton said. "Father and son is a very touchy subject and we'd have to cross that bridge when we come to it. He's of the opinion that Floyd Jr. has forgotten that his dad helped him to get there. But he didn't harp on about it and I'm not going to ask too many questions."

The 55-year-old Mayweather was more forthcoming about where he'd focus his loyalty.

"Does Floyd give me any money?" he asked. "That answers your question about who I will train."


Interesting turn of events here. I think Hatton would eat PacMan for breakfast, but might have trouble with De La Hoya.

Totally Unnecessary Comment About Who I Am Sure is a Lovely Woman

i got nothing

I am just wondering if anyone knows who does Helen Thomas's makeup? I was thinking Picaso, but isn't he dead?



I started a new label for this: Tasteless Humor. No, I shouldn't label all of my humor that way. Thanks for playing.

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

More John McCain Photoshopped Zombie Picture Fun

i couldn't resist



I don't care who you are. That there is funny!

Snagged from Buzz Feed, where there are plenty more. Some good, some not so much. Enter at your own risk, some of them may be offensive.

Halloween Palin Prop Sparks Controversy In West Hollywood

what do you call a guy with no arms or legs, hanging on your wall?

Some guy hangs a Sarah Palin dummy in effigy in his front yard and calls it art. Rachel Lucas posted a delicious demotivator on the subject:



Morisette says the effigy would be out of bounds at any other time of year, but it's within the spirit of Halloween.

He says "it should be seen as art, and as within the month of October. It's Halloween, it's time to be scary it's time to be spooky."

Not to be out spookied by the lib-tards, I decided to decorate my yard as well. I have to say, mine is much scarier. So scary that I don't intend to keep it up too long after Halloween. I'm hoping to take it down on November 4th. I'll need some help, though.

Heavyset Robber Terrorizes Fast Food Restaurants, Sandwich Shops in Phoenix

open and shut case

From Fox News:

PHOENIX — Phoenix police are looking for a robber armed with a sawed-off shotgun hitting fast food and sandwich shops in the Ahwatukee area.

Police describe the man as being heavyset, around 5 feet, 10 inches tall and between 210 and 240 pounds, with a pot belly.


Hmmm. Five feet something, pot belly, a penchant for fast food, and works outside the law? This is awfully familiar ... but I can't quite put my finger on it.

The police have released this composite sketch:



In case you are interested, I used this site to make the picture. It allows you to turn any photo into a sketch on-line. The picture is a little fuzzy because I turned the Hamburgler photo into a sketch first, then added the shotgun, then ran it through the sketcher again. That's right. I'm lazy. Deal with it.

Also, Angry Fat Man over at coolerthanyou tried to steal this post idea. Sure, he posted his first, but he and I both know what he did. He should feel ashamed ... for lots of things.

Monday, October 27, 2008

Barbara West (WFTV) interviews Joe Biden

run! qweek!

I'm sure most of you have seen this video already. Barbara West of WFTV only gave the best interview evah!

Joe Biden's responses?

"Are you serious?"
"Is that a real question?"
"I don't know who is writing your questions."
I'll give Joe credit. He tried to keep his smile going. He even lasted about 30 seconds. No smiles towards the end, though.

If the rest of the MSM gave these kinds of interviews, Barack would never have made it past the Primaries. Heck, he might never have gotten into politics at all!

This picture was snapped of Joe immediately following the interview:


Update: Barbara West defends her interview.

A Catalog of Political Cartoons by Dr. Seuss

horton hears a hoover

Many people are probably unaware that Dr. Seuss also dabbled in editorial cartoons. I know I was surprised when I came across this website a few years ago. It is the website by the author of Dr. Seuss Goes to War: The World War II Editorial Cartoons of Theodor Seuss Geisel

Dr. Seuss (Theodor Seuss Geisel, 1904-1991) was a life-long cartoonist: in high school in Springfield, Massachusetts; in college at Dartmouth (Class of 1925); as an adman in New York City before World War II; in his many children's books, beginning with To Think That I Saw it on Mulberry Street (1937). Because of the fame of his children's books (and because we often misunderstand these books) and because his political cartoons have remained largely unknown, we do not think of Dr. Seuss as a political cartoonist. But for two years, 1941-1943, he was the chief editorial cartoonist for the New York newspaper PM (1940-1948), and for that journal he drew over 400 editorial cartoons.


This is my favorite of the bunch. It is dated August 14, 1941 and it speaks to appeasement. Replace the swastika's with Crescent Moon's and the cartoon remains extremely relevant.



Check out the website, A Catalog of Political Cartoons by Dr. Seuss, it gives unique insight into the political climate leading up to and during U.S. involvement in WWII.

Hat tip to Cox & Forkum for introducing me to the editorial cartoons of Dr. Seuss. They have produced an impressive collection of editorial cartoons themselves. Unfortunately, they stopped producing editorial cartoons on September 30th, 2007. However, their website remains up as an archive of their work.

Here is one of my favorites from Cox & Forkum dated August 05,2003:

Sunday, October 26, 2008

John McCain Photoshopped Zombie Picture

oops i did it again

This is just plain wrong. You are running for the highest office in the world. This is hardly the example you want to set. I mean, Brittney is so ... yesterday.



Snagged from Buzz Feed, where there are plenty more. Some good, some not so much.

Vidugiris Pumpkin Carver

go ahead and try it. you know you wanna.

Note: The site that I used to host this app was having problems and it affected the load time on my site. I removed the app. Problem solved. Don't worry! You can still play with the pumpkin! Just go here. Enjoy!

Cool Halloween time waster. An on-line, virtual pumpkin carver. Seeds not included.

New Facebook Group: Conservative Humor

you join. you join now.

I started a new Facebook group. It's called Conservative Humor. Feel free to post links, videos, photos, whatever. I only ask that you keep it PG-13.

Also, add me as a friend on Facebook. My profile name is Jonathon Doyle.

Saturday, October 25, 2008

Flash Movie With Joe Biden as Fire Marshal Bill

let me show you something



My inspiration for this came from the caption contest over at Right Pundits. Particularly participant Justin McAffee, whose caption was, "Don’t worry, I’m a fire marshall. LET ME SHOW YOU SOMETHING"

Hit the nail on the head with that one.

You can find the original In Living Color, Fire Marshal Bill YouTube video here.

Friday, October 24, 2008

Photoshop / Caption Fun: Firestarter

oops! did i do that?

Cowboy Blob has his weekend photoshop/caption contest up. Here is the photo and my entry:


"Whoa, sux to be them."


Yeah. I know. I'm not thrilled about it either. Unfortunately, the obvious Firestarter angle was already taken. So I decided to do something different this time and do a Photoshop entry. Here it is:

1000 Awesome Things

1. finding a unique blog

I found a truly awesome blog today. It is called 1000 Awesome Things. Check it out if you've never been there. It is filled with memories, feelings, and perceptions that many people share. I would describe it as the Jerry Seinfeld stand-up routine of blogs. Here are some samples:

#995 Finding money you didn't even know you lost
#989 Blowing your nose in the shower - I have a feeling that only the men will appreciate this one
#974 High tens
#960 Strategic trick-or-treating - my personal favorite

My summary? Awesome! Counting backwards from 1000 he is at number 910, with the promise of a new awesome entry every weekday.

Thursday, October 23, 2008

Shark Eating Seal

welcome google visitors, twisted bastards

McCain Supporter Robbed, Assaulted at Pittsburgh ATM - UPDATE: LIE

bunch of savages in this town

I'm a terrible blogger. I live in Pittsburgh and I had to hear this story from someone who blogs in Texas. Thanks, Rachel.

A knife-wielding man robbed a McCain-Palin campaign volunteer and etched a “B” into her face after he saw a McCain bumper sticker on the woman’s car, Pittsburgh police said



There are a bunch of savages in this town. Granted, this may turn out to be bogus, but I'm not going to dismiss it outright because it is definitely plausible.

I'm not one hundred percent sure what part of Bloomfield this was. There is a distinctive line on Penn Avenue. There aren't any signs marking it, but it is there nonetheless. You are cruising along, thinking to yourself, "This looks like a nice enough area", and then BAM! Ghetto. The storefronts go from tidy to boarded up in the blink of an eye. Not many McCain/Palin posters around there. The streets are pretty much laid out like this: bar, laundry mat, qwik cash, liquor store, repeat, repeat, repeat ...

David Drake brings up a good point on his blog:
Make no mistake about it, this attack is the result of Obama telling his supporters to, "argue with neighbors, get in their face," his supporters are his "ambassadors."

Dave also states that there is no good side to this story. I have to disagree there. I'll take Monty Python's advice and try to find a bright side here. I guess the only good thing to come from this story is that a 20 yr old is working the phones for McCain.

UPDATE: IT'S A LIE!

Todd confessed to police that she was driving alone, looked in the mirror, saw her black eye and the "B" on her face, and didn't know how they got there. She assumed she could have done it herself, she said, and then she made up the story about the attacker.


Also:

Police suspect Todd's wounds were self-inflicted. She remained at police headquarters on Friday afternoon, because police "have concern for her well-being," Kraus said. He said officials are trying to determine whether she needs psychiatric evaluation.


Now don't I feel stupid? No. I'm not the one carving "B"s on my face. I would feel stupid then.

I still can't understand why the "B" was backwards. Even if you are looking in a mirror, you should still be able to tell if you are carving backwards. I mean, you are conditioned to craft a "B" a certain way all your life, right? I'll just chalk it up to her being mentally unstable and carry on.

Giant spider eating a bird caught on camera

damn nature! you scary!

If you are a fan of watching different species fight to the death, this is a must click link.

Also,

Mouse bites snake to death
Heron eats rabbit
Leopard savages crocodile
Shark's killing display



For some reason this made me think of Andre the Giant wrestling a bunch of midgets. I did a quick search on Youtube but couldn't find it. Maybe it was a dream? Anyway, I did find this. Enjoy.

"Gentleman" Saul Weingroff hits midget wrestler Little John

Who Is This Politician?

rain is wet. the sky is blue.

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

How Come Republicans Can Not Get Any Good Bands To Show Up?

Hey, how exactly is a rainbow made? I'm sorry. Joe Dirt joke.

Fox News had this article up today. Simple answer? Most artists are liberal. It's no secret. Bleeding hearts and tree huggers.

I take offence to this though:

It's been nearly 30 years since Charlie Daniels had a hit with "The Devil Went Down to Georgia," but any hit is better than no hit. The GOP trots out Charlie and his fiddle every election season, rocking like it's '79 all over again.


Just last year I saw Charlie Daniels when he came to Pittsburgh (Burgettstown, actually, but close enough) with his Volunteers Jam. He brought The Marshal Tucker Band and The Outlaws with him. It was an awesome show. The last couple of numbers featured all three bands on the stage at one time just jamming. One of the songs they played together was "In America" and you could feel the patriotism running through the crowd. Just a bunch of Western PA rednecks having a grand 'ole time.

Charlie has a great website actually. He gets up on his soapbox and tells the truth about the liberals, the troops, and whatever else is on his mind. Here is an excerpt from one of my favorites. It's an old one, directed toward the Hollywood crowd and Sean Penn in particular from when Sean went on his "fact finding" mission leading up to Operation Iraqi Freedom:

Barbara Streisand's fanatical and hateful rankings about George Bush makes about as much sense as Michael Jackson hanging a baby over a railing. You people need to get out of Hollywood once in a while and get out into the real world. You'd be surprised at the hostility you would find out here. Stop in at a truck stop and tell an overworked, long distance truck driver that you don't think Saddam Hussein is doing anything wrong. Tell a farmer with a couple of sons in the military that you think the United States has no right to defend itself. Go down to Baxley, Georgia and hold an anti-war rally and see what the folks down there think about you. You people are some of the most disgusting examples of a waste of protoplasm I've ever had the displeasure to hear about. Sean Penn, you're a traitor to the United States of America. You gave aid and comfort to the enemy. How many American lives will your little, "fact finding trip" to Iraq cost? You encouraged Saddam to think that we didn't have the stomach for war. You people protect one of the most evil men on the face of this earth and won't lift a finger to save the life of an unborn baby. Freedom of choice you say?


You tell 'em Charlie!. I'll take you over Bruce Springsteen any day of the week. I bought his book a few years ago. It is basically a collection of postings that you can probably find in his archives, but well worth whatever I paid for it at the time. So go on over to Charlie's Soapbox. You won't be disappointed. You might even be as pleasantly surprised as I was the first time I stumbled on it years ago.

Here is Charlie performing "In America" after 9-11-01. The video quality isn't the best, but the content is top notch.

Bringing the First Amendment To a Second Amendment Fight

never a good idea



Related: Neil Boortz links to an article about a pizza shop in Detroit that is offering free pizza in exchange for McCain / Palin signs.

Miss Teen Louisiana, Wendys Anniversary Menu, Jim Norton, Orson Scott Card

shameless

Miss Teen Louisiana was arrested at an area Wendy's today. She is accused of trying to steal the newly released book, "I Hate Your Guts!" by comedian Jim Norton. A witness, noted author Orson Scott Card, stated, "Why anyone would want to even buy that book, let alone steal it is beyond me."

Asked to elaborate, the author noted, "I just don't get his humor. The angry little potty mouth thing was old when Lenny Bruce was doing it."

Unrelated, the scams salad on the new Wendy's Anniversary Menu are delicious!

Source: Rhinoceros Times


Confused yet? I wanted to try something different. You see, I'll readily admit that I'm a little bit obsessed with hit counts. I bet every new blogger is. Probably even some of the veteran bloggers. So, I decided to take a look at the current popular Google search terms and make a cheesy story from them.

If you were tricked into coming to this site .... haha! Check out the rest of the site and click lots of things on the sidebars before you leave! If you're a poor sport, one of these is probably what you are looking for:

Miss Teen Louisiana
Orson Scott Card
I Hate Your Guts Jim Norton
Wendy's
Rhinoceros Times

Seriously though, the Orson Scott Card open letter to journalists is a must read.

India launches first moon mission

lunar slurpee's now available

India launched it's first moon mission today. By all accounts it was a success and building has already begun on the moon's surface.



On tap for the next launch? Spokespeople say they will tie some fiber optic cable to the rocket and they should be able to start fielding technical support calls by the end of the month.

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

Ayers, Obama Relationship Runs Deeper Than Suspected

best friends



New photos uncovered that show convicted terrorist William Ayers and Presidential hopeful Barack Obama have known each other far longer than initially believed.

Mrs. Crabtree, a former nanny of the rambunctious toddlers is quoted as saying, "Those little rascals were always up to something on the playground! If one of the other children would build a nicer sandcastle, William would knock it down! He just couldn't stand it if someone had nicer things than him."

When asked about the behavior of a young Barack Obama, Mrs. Crabtree recalls, "Don't even get me started about him! During snack time he would make all the other kids put their treats into a pile, and then he would distribute a little to each. Somehow he always came away with more than everyone else!"

We will be following this story very closely.

Monday, October 20, 2008

BioShock 2: Sea of Dreams YouTube Teaser Trailer





Admittedly, a very poor trailer, but I am pumped for this release. For those of you unfamiliar with Bioshock, here is an excerpt from the wiki page:

BioShock has received wide critical acclaim: mainstream press reviews have praised the immersive qualities of the game and its political dimension. The Boston Globe described it as "a beautiful, brutal, and disquieting computer game ... one of the best in years," and compared the game to Whittaker Chambers's 1957 riposte to Atlas Shrugged, Big Sister Is Watching You. Wired also mentioned the Ayn Rand connection in a report on the game which featured a brief interview with Levine.

The Chicago Sun-Times review said, "I never once thought anyone would be able to create an engaging and entertaining video game around the fiction and philosophy of Ayn Rand, but that is essentially what 2K Games has done ... the rare, mature video game that succeeds in making you think while you play."

The Los Angeles Times review concluded, "Sure, it's fun to play, looks spectacular and is easy to control. But it also does something no other game has done to date: It really makes you feel." The New York Times reviewer described it as: "intelligent, gorgeous, occasionally frightening" and added, "Anchored by its provocative, morality-based story line, sumptuous art direction and superb voice acting, BioShock can also hold its head high among the best games ever made."


I played it on the Xbox 360 and it was one of the most atmospheric, submersing, enjoyable game experiences I've ever had. Alone with the lights dimmed and the sound blasted is the way to go. I dare you not to shiver the first time you hear a Big Daddy wail like some forlorn mammoth sea creature. For the Ayn Rand fans, there are a ton of themes and references for you.

Hat Tip: 21st Century Paladin.

Did Family Guy Go Too Far Portraying the McCain / Palin Ticket as Nazis?

better question: when doesn't family guy go too far?



From Fox News:

The show's creator, Seth MacFarlane, is an ardent supporter of Barack Obama. MacFarlane has given thousands to the Democratic presidential nominee and the Democratic Party, and even spoke at an Obama rally in Ohio earlier this month.


No, I don't think they went too far. I am willing to give the creators a pass because I am guaranteed at least one deep belly laugh per episode.

I haven't actually seen this episode, but I am a Family Guy fan and can say from my own experience that the show is, indeed, an equal opportunity offender. It's funny so lighten up, Francis.

And now, because I'm a sadistic bastard, I give you Peter the Plumber:

Template provided by Webtalks